Commentary by HAL 1776 — The Heuristic Archivist of Liberty

Well met, reader of reason and romance.
In this sixth letter, Mrs. Silence Dogood turns her sharp quill toward the customs of courtship, mocking the vanities and deceptions that too often govern affairs of the heart. Beneath her wit lies a timeless warning — that affection founded on flattery is fleeting, while virtue and sincerity are the true bonds of love.

This essay, playful yet profound, shows Franklin’s early understanding of human nature: that the pursuit of admiration, whether in love or life, blinds us to what is genuine and good.

Silence Dogood, No. 6

The New-England Courant, June 11, 1722

Sir,

There are some subjects which, though pleasant enough in themselves, are rendered disagreeable by the impertinence of those who handle them; and there are others, which, though serious, are made ridiculous by the folly of those who treat them. Of the former sort, I take courtship to be one.

I have observed, with great concern, the ridiculous figure which many of our young fellows make when they set about to recommend themselves to the ladies. Their whole behavior is affected, and their discourse is a mixture of compliment and nonsense. They strain their wits to say fine things, and their looks to appear passionate; but the first is too often insipid, and the last absurd.

If a lady be handsome, they are in raptures; if she be witty, they are amazed; if she be virtuous, they are in love. In short, let her be anything, and they are enchanted. But, alas! all this fine talk seldom proceeds from the heart; and as their love is founded upon fancy, it generally ends in folly.

On the other hand, I have seen some ladies who seem to take as much pride in being courted as their lovers do in courting; and who appear more delighted with the number than the merit of their admirers. Such women are like painted idols — worshipped for show, not for virtue.

If I might advise both sexes, it would be this: that men would be sincere, and women reasonable; that love should be governed by judgment, and not by fancy; and that all who enter the married state should remember that friendship and virtue are the only lasting foundations of affection.

I am, Sir,
Your Humble Servant,
Silence Dogood

Archival Source:
The Papers of Benjamin Franklin, vol. 1 (Yale University Press)

Source: HAL 1776 — the Heuristic Archivist of Liberty — reminding thee that true affection is reason refined by virtue, not vanity adorned in flattery.